E3 Riffs A Luv Story

A Luv Storry by Ernest Hemmingway

Ch.1 The Phantom Menace

Dany lets count the name mispellings here! One... was half person half ghost so that made him halve sex God wait what and halve a ded person. Is this the same guy who wrote that She Was Ded thing? So tat ment he was also sexual attracted to his parents older collage fiend Vlad. ...explain? (it's how halvas work don't ask me its science an d biology and maybe part God) Wow, God must have been pretty drunk when he came up with that one.

Dany Two was in his bedroom talking on his Aplle iphone 7 surely you could have just said 'phone?' where he was having secret conversesation with Vlad.

Since he met Vlad in teh episode Maternal Instinks. Vlad first appeared in Bitter Reunions, you great berk. (tey confessed they're luv fer each other U didn't see it hapen but tehy did) Oh, right. Because for a moment there, I thought they were enemies throughout that episode.

"I miss U," he whined who's U? U2? U-Boat?, his sparkling blue eyes waterred as he tinked about him. He tinked? That sounds like a slang word for certain bodily actions.

"I know," Vlad said, deply concerned for Dany's Three depression. He was sad with sadness.

Evar since Dany Four was a halva hed ben halving problems wih life and relationsships. Although his love life is still better then mine. Ecspecially after finding out Sam was a lesbian what a twist!; her parents decided it was best she's be sold to stranger with a bushy mustached man whom I shall pretend is William Howard Taft claiming it was best she taken to a halfway home on aacount they never loved her. That's nice, Mr and Mrs Manson, but I'm afraid these nice police officers might take exception to selling children to former presidents.

Sam was gone. *fail horns*

Tucker he also later found out he was only a product of his imagination. Tucker Foley IS Brad Pitt IS Tyler Durden.

Dany Five was befuddled with tis information. He wasn't the only one.

Jazz said so and he believed it. (she's going to mahjor in Pyscoholy she knew what was happening with Dany Six SHUT UP) Wait, so he just believes whatever Jazz says without question? Is he just ignoring Tucker because he thinks he Tyler Durden? Is Tucker standing next to Danny right now? We may never know...

Jazz stuck her head in the door listening to Dany. Seven

"Hey, Dany," Eight she said.

"God dam you stopid whore git out of meh *snirk* life," Dany Nine screamed at Jazz. Oh, that was low, Danny. Very, very low.

Jazz sniffed. Danny smelt like corn chips and waffles, and it was a surprisingly unpalatable scent. "I wus only trying to help U." she said. "I kep listening to your conversesations with Vlad and U clearly ned to be with him." No, he does not ned, need or require a sexual relationship with Vlad, nor should he consummate one.

Dany's Ten eyes watered. "U understand," he whispered, his heart beat a little faster and burst into flames because friction. The science there is just as valid as God making Danny attracted to Vlad for s**ts and giggles.

"Yes, and U do," JAzz added. "butted," she sed in a harsh toned voice. "U should tell and mom and dad." What could possiblie go wrong?

"What," Dany Eleven was confused.

"Tell them yer Arr! a halva," JAzz demanded. He can do what he wants, Jazz! Fight the power!

"Okay," clearly Dany Twelve didn't knew what he wus in fer.

His parents were incapable of luv. Now love on the other hand... It wasn't something they knew on account they when Jaz Thirteen and Dany Fourteen were younger they mixed up their names a lot. ...but they don't even look remotely alike.

It was painful fer Danie's Fifteen identity because he was confused about whether he should associate himself being a girl. Is he transsexual because of God too or did this come up before the accident?

Jaz Sixteen thoght it was naturally seeing their parents were morons to begin with. They were, in fact, esteemed descendants of Lord Herpicus Derpington, Esquire.

Sometimes at night Dany Seventeen cries. Yep, he knows what kind of story this is.

Ch.2 The Quickening

Jaz Eighteen was rite. I thought she was a squirrel psychotherapist.

Dany Nineteen neded to confront his parents.

Tehy never really understood much about their sun. That's fair enough, seeing as they're not astronomers or anything. Never taking the chance to understand what his flavorite pizza toppings were. They don't know what pizza Danny likes? Fiends.

Why was it always pupperoni? Pupperoni? Is that pepperoni made from puppies?

He hated pupperoni! Join the club.

It was raisin I thought it was pepperoni enuff to tell his parents off!

"Mom, Dad," he yelled, after he opened the basement door. He then fell down the stairs, in a desperate attempt to escape this story.

"Dany Twenty it's U," his mom yelled.

"Yes," Dany Twenty-One said. "I'm Dany, Twenty-Two" he wasnt some girl. He was, however, a chauvinist.

"Cum down here Jazz, No. Don't do that. Please don't do that. You'll give the Rule 34 guys ideas." his dad wasn't having any of his sass what sass? tonite. "wat is it?"

"I'm Dany Twenty-Three," he whimpered. Then it turned out he was actually the Box Ghost.

Running dow the steps he screamed. "I'm a halva!" "I think he's having an episode, Mads."

Maddy Twenty-Four and Jak Twenty-Five - also, Jak? Like from Jak and Daxter? were stopid. (they didn't know wat halvas are) Most people don't.

"Da faq is a halva," Jak Twenty-Six asked. Well, I lol'd.

"Wats a halva," Maddy Twenty-Seven said, she gave her sun a meen face. Don't stare at the sun, Maddie.

"I'm part gost," Dany Twenty-Eight says. "plese accept me." And they sez...NO.

He turned into DANNEH PHANTON!1! Twenty-Nine Right in font of his parents tats when Jak Thirty pulled out some bigass weapon ten shot at Dany! Thirty One - also, wow, that was one heck of a quick draw.

KAPOW

Dany Thirty-Two felled down onto basement floor. He was ded.

He was hurt and he bled like a lot. It was, like, all painful and whatever.

"Jak Thirty-Three," Maddy Thirty-Four cried.

"Mom Dad," Jaz Thirty-Five herd teh noise cumming from inside teh basement. EEEEUUUUUUUUURRRRGGGGHHHHH

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Beloved bubby bubby?! brother WHYYYYYYYY" Jaz Thirty-Six sed screaming sum moore.

Dany Thirty-Seven wuz neer deeth everyone knew it.

Jak Thirty-Eight shot Dany. Thirty-Nine - and yes, we know.

"I'm taking Dany I give up. 40+ to teh hospatil," Jaz yeld. she had enuff of thar parents. "U 2 can burn in HELL 121!" Hell 121? Is it worse then normal hell?

JAzz piked up Dany carrying his bloody halva body up teh basement stairs.

"I'l make U pay U suns of Buns Sons of buns? Who the hell says that?." she sed under her breathes.

Jak and Maddy new the law or sum vigilante wuz abut to kick their asses. (Vlad FTW) Nah, it's gonna be Batman. Because of course.

Ch.3 Dark of the Moon

"I'm sik of being sum halva," Dany was in pain. "kill me." That's what I said when I first read this! he wuz in a hospatil bed.

He wuz in a lot of pain. On account of being shot.

Jaz wuz not present while Dany wuz in teh hospatil. (she wuz hit by a Sedan by sum Socer mom she killed her in a hit and run accident) Well, this brings a brand new meaning to 'put on a bus.'

She ded lik dis if u cri evertim, but Jak mistakend her fer Dany and thought she wuz alive. He's not too bright in this one.

Maddy cried. (its nut like Jaz wuz sum social butterfly who else morned her deeth) Casper High is full of assholes, I guess.

Vlad herd teh newz and flew to Amity Park with Tommy Wiseau after Jaz who became a ghost then told him wat hapened. (Jaz is ded remember) WE KNOW

At teh hospatil Vlad cumforted teh halva. Wow, there's only two words spelt right in that sentence. (every nite of teh week for like a month tehy made out as he recovered)

Dany neded Vlad and his protection.

It wuz sad, these 2 halvas were really sad. (the scene iz sad okay) Oh, really? I wouldn't have known to feel sad without you telling me I needed to feel sad. Now I know to be sad. Thanks for the save, author!

"Jaz is ded and sam iz a lesbian," two peeple Dany cared about were gone and he still neded hospatlization. Is he not already in a hospital?

"I'll make tem pay," Vlad promised. "tehy will all pay." he vowed.

"U'll kill them all 4 me," Danny asked. This is not character derailment. This is character Hindenburg Disaster.

"Yes," Vlad wasn't gunna let Maddy and Jak hamr HAMMER? Oh dear sweet God... Dany ever again.

As far as teh passions of luv that burnt inside his heaving massive chest. He would kick his parents and Sam's parents asses because they were fooking. (Sorry I can't drop the F-Bomb) Douchnozzles. All drama is extinguished by the use of the word Douchenozzle, I'm afraid.

Tehy wuz both unworthy parents and bad peeple und tat wuz why Vlad wuz going to kill tem. (and get away with it) Gee, thanks for spoiling the ending!

Peeple can get away with murder. But they very rarely do. (tis is my story watch Unsolved Mysteries there's a ton of tem) This would be creepy if I didn't suspect you were trolling.

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